


eyes locked, hands locked

by thoughtsofher



Category: THE9 (Band), 青春有你2 | Youth With You 2 (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Lots of kissing, Mostly Fluff, Secret Relationship, polaroids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:40:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26032030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thoughtsofher/pseuds/thoughtsofher
Summary: Yuxin knew it would be impossible to forget her
Relationships: Liu Yuxin/Lu Keran
Comments: 2
Kudos: 41





	eyes locked, hands locked

**Author's Note:**

> i barely remember the show so ignore inconsistencies <3

Yuxin had noticed her from the start. The cool and charismatic performer who turned into a soft and shy girl off stage. It’s charming.

She manages to catch her name. Lu Keran. It’s pretty, she thinks. Just like the rest of her. Everything from her long legs to her tiny waist. Such a pretty face. She’s kind of her type.

Her energy on stage is powerful, and for a second Yuxin forgets she’s performing with two other girls. Her eyes glued to Keran.

Yuxin knew it would be impossible to forget her.

It doesn’t take them long to start talking. Even if it’s just awkward smalltalk in the beginning. Keran praising Yuxin for her dancing, and Yuxin promising to teach her some of her techniques later.

They are lucky enough to get into the same team for the first group performance. All the girls work surprisingly well together. It makes it a lot easier for both Yuxin and Keran to open up more. Honestly, she didn’t expect them to get along so well. They seemed so similar in the beginning. But she couldn’t be more wrong. Yuxin is pleased to find out Keran is actually just a huge dork. No matter how hard she tries to hide behind her cool facade, Yuxin is able to see right through it. From then on it’s so easy to **like** her.

"Hey." Yuxin nudges her shoulder. "Got you something."

Keran looks up at her, raising an eyebrow while eyeing the cup she holds out to her. It takes all of Yuxin’s strength to ignore how their fingers brush together when Keran reaches for the cup. Keran takes a sip, eyes widening in excitement at the familiar taste. "Iced americano?"

"That’s your usual order, right?"

Keran nods slowly. Instead of going on about how she shouldn’t spend money on her, like when Lin Fan bought her ice cream the other day, she seems to silently appreciate the gesture. Staring down at the cup, then back at Yuxin.

"Thank you." Keran gives her an eye-crinkling smile.

Yuxin’s heart flutters for the first time.

They’re sitting outside on one of the balconies the first time Yuxin slips up. The sun is setting, painting the sky a pretty mixture of blue, orange and pink. The light hits Keran just right. Her skin practically glowing. "You’re so pretty." Yuxin whispers. When their eyes finally meet, she is left breathless.

"Take my picture then," Keran answers confidently, even though Yuxin can clearly see the soft blush dusting her cheeks. She leans back on her palms, grinning at Yuxin. "It will last longer."

Yuxin knows she’s just teasing. And although she thinks she could never forget how beautiful Keran looks in this moment, she takes the offer. She picks up the camera and points it at Keran. Quickly snapping a photo of her before she can react.

The look on her face is worth it.

"I’m keeping this." Yuxin waves the polaroid in front of her face. She pulls back before Keran has the chance to snatch it out of her hand. She scoffs.

"Fine, but at least let me have something in return."

"Like what?"

Keran thinks for a moment. Going over all her options in her head. She looks cute when she’s focused. Her lips a little pursed while she stares off, thinking. Yuxin doesn’t realize she’s staring until she sees Keran’s lips stretch into a grin. Immediately Yuxin looks away, trying her best to not seem as embarrassed as she is. But the other girl moves closer and places a hand on Yuxin’s thigh.

"How about a kiss?"

Yuxin is frozen. She must have heard that wrong, right? There’s no way Keran asked her for a kiss. But if that’s not what she said, why is Keran’s hand on her thigh? Holy shit. Keran’s hand is on her thigh.

To say it sends Yuxin into a panic is putting it mildly. It’s not like she’s against the idea of kissing Keran. Under any other circumstance, she probably would. But knowing how quickly everything can be ruined if they’re caught, Yuxin doesn’t dare to. Even if her lips look so tempting, and it would be really easy to lean in and taste them.

Before she has the chance to say or do anything at all, voices and footsteps can be heard approaching them. Keran quickly slides back to her previous spot on the bench. Acting like nothing happened when Keran’s roommates, out of all people, appear at the entrance. Yuxin gives them the best smile she can muster, even though it feels like her heart is about to burst out of her chest.

"Hey, we’ve been looking for you!" Yiwen says.

"Are we interrupting anything?" Lin Fan raises an eyebrow at Keran. The two share a look. Keran glaring at her friend, who’s grinning at her in return. Yuxin pushes away the feeling that Lin Fan knows something she doesn’t.

"No, it’s fine! I, uh, actually gotta go anyway." Yuxin excuses herself as she stands up and gets ready to leave. Wiping her now clammy hands on her pants.

Keran grabs her hand before she can walk away.

"See you later?" She asks, her tone hopeful.

There’s a hint of fear in her eyes that Yuxin doesn’t like at all. Reminding her of what almost happened before they were interrupted. And she gets it. So she gives the girl a warm smile while she nods.

"Yes, definitely."

They don’t expect to get so busy during the second evaluation.

The more time spent apart, the more Keran seems to occupy her mind. She can’t stop thinking about her when their team is told to express their feelings more. And she’s even more surprised to hear they improved. A little scared, even, of what it may mean.

That reminds her, she hasn’t seen Keran at all today. Not even a glimpse of her in the hallways. And when she stops by her room that night, just for Naiwan to tell her she hasn’t come back yet, she starts to worry. She shouldn’t be practicing so late.

Not that Yuxin is any better of an example.

Making her way back to the training rooms, there is still light coming from a few of them. She peeks through the windows of each room in hope of finding the girl she’s looking for. It’s through observing the hard work of the other girls she comes across that Yuxin realizes why Keran might be staying up so late. Finally, she finds her on the last try.

She gives a few knocks to the door before entering the room. Butterflies swarm inside Yuxin’s stomach when their eyes meet for the first time in days. It makes her so nauseous she almost turns back around to leave. How can she miss Keran when seeing her makes her feel like she might get sick? It really doesn’t help that they hadn’t talked since their almost-kiss.

"Hey." She only takes a couple of steps into the room, testing the waters. "How’s it going?"

Keran awkwardly smiles at her while rubbing her nape.

"Fine."

The silence is painfully awkward. Yuxin doesn’t know how to approach her. What to say. What to do. She just wants to assure Keran that she’s doing amazing, and she has nothing to worry about. And if she does worry, that she can talk to her. She wants them to be okay again. It shouldn’t feel so impossible.

She takes another few, shy steps towards her, just to hand her a water bottle. Based on the messy state of her hair and her tired eyes, she was in need of a break.

"I heard you fell."

Keran sighs. Of course more people would know by now. It really wasn’t a big deal. At least not to her.

"I’m fine, it doesn’t matter." She takes the bottle from Yuxin and chugs some water while wiping the sweat from her forehead. Fingers pushing through the hair covering her face. Oh, how Yuxin would love to be the one doing that.

«It does matter.» Yuxin dares to argue.

"Don’t push yourself too far, okay?" Keran just nods, not looking at her anymore. Yuxin decides she’s not happy with her response. She gathers the last bit of courage she needs, then steps forward. Standing on the tips of her toes, she leans in and kisses Keran’s cheek. Dangerously close to the corner of her mouth.

"Good night, get some rest." Yuxin manages before hurriedly exiting the training room, leaving behind a flushed Keran.

It’s 1am when Yuxin decides to finish practicing for the night. Sweat trickles down her forehead and neck while she does her finishing stretches. Her team had finished up hours ago, but Yuxin had insisted she stayed behind and practice a little longer by herself. She should’ve known she would lose track of time.

Ignoring the painful throbbing of her knees, she wanders the halls to a different location nearby. Keran is like a magnet, because Yuxin finds herself in her training room once again by her request.

This time it isn’t as awkward. Not even when Yuxin’s hands are on Keran’s hips, guiding her into a better position. Her hot breath tickling Keran’s neck. Or when Keran’s fingers brush against the back of her hands, lingering a little longer than necessary. Such level of intimacy would shock Yuxin to her core if she wasn’t so determined to keep things professional between them. No more slip-ups.

"Alright, show me."

Yuxin sits down against the mirrored wall, watching as Keran starts the music over and gets into position. Keran’s aura changes the moment she starts dancing. The way she dances is so mesmerizing. Her moves so sharp yet smooth. She has such good control of her body. Her eyes are intense, staring directly at Yuxin while she mouths the words to the song. The room grows hotter by the second.

The song really is perfect for her, Yuxin comes to realize. And that’s what she tries to keep her focus on. The song. Her dancing. Definitely not Keran’s eyes that seem to stare deep into her soul. Or the exposed skin of her waist, thanks to the goddamned crop tops they are wearing for the performance.

Everything is fine…until Keran slides down on her knees right in front of her. Yuxin gulps, almost choking when she realizes her throat has gone dry. She is fine. This is fine.

 _I am me_.

Keran places a hand on the floor on each side of Yuxin. Trapping her against the mirror as she leans close, hovering over the smaller girl. That’s definitely not a part of the choreography.

_I am no one else._

There's no one else Yuxin wants.

She hesitantly reaches up, pushing some of Keran’s hair from her face. She’s unable to speak, like she forgot how to. No words at all coming to mind. Just _Keran_ , _Keran_ , _Keran_. She’s grateful when she doesn’t have to.

"Kiss me." Keran whispers.

Fuck being careful _._

Yuxin grabs her neck with both hands, pulling the girl into a heated kiss. Swallowing her gasp. Keran doesn’t hesitate to take a seat in her lap, careful not to put too much pressure on Yuxin’s knees. But Yuxin just grips her waist firmly, pulling her impossibly closer. Not really giving a shit about her knees when a pretty girl is sitting right there, in her lap, making out with her.

None of it feels real. The way Keran’s soft, cottony lips move so smoothly against her own. Tongue poking out to lick at Yuxin’s lips, making her entire body go weak. Her panting between kisses. Hands cupping Yuxin’s burning cheeks. All her senses are filled with Keran. To know they could’ve been doing this for weeks already is almost upsetting. So, to make up for all the time they already wasted, they stay that way. Taking their time to get familiar with each other’s bodies.

"You make me dizzy." Yuxin sighs once they finally part. Only opening her eyes when hearing Keran’s precious laugh.

"Yeah?"

Yuxin nods, though she looks totally dazed.

"Your kisses make me feel like I’m floating."

Keran kisses her again, gently, just to prove her point.

"Takes my breath away." Yuxin adds in a whisper.

She leans back to look at the other girl. Keran looks so fondly at her in return, it’s enough to make her heart go crazy. Because she can’t stop smiling, and Yuxin thinks it might be her favorite sight in the world.

"I like you. If you haven’t noticed."

"I like you too."

The balcony seems to become their usual spot whenever they have some time to spend alone together.

Sharing quick kisses when people aren’t looking and the cameras can’t find them.

Maybe they also spend a lot of time making out behind the curtains in the training rooms during breaks.

She feels like a kid when she is running around with Keran in secret. As if they’re doing something they’re not allowed to. It’s like she’s sixteen and falling in love for the very first time. The high school romance type of feeling that Yuxin never really got to experience. Everything is so new and exciting. Once Keran finds out she hasn’t actually dated anyone before, she decides to make the most out of the few weeks they have left.

Keran sneakily snaps a photo of her one day when Yuxin is exhausted from training. Her head rests in Keran’s lap while the latter plays with her hair. Constantly drifting in and out of sleep because she doesn’t want to miss out on quality time with her girlfriend.

…are they girlfriends?

Yuxin doesn’t dwell on that thought for too long. But she does decide it’s not fair only for Keran to have a picture from after they started dating. If that’s what this is. So she grumpily sits up to take the camera from Keran. She kisses her sweet lips, making the girl giggle. The flash goes off then, capturing Keran in her best state. Her dimply smile on the picture making Yuxin melt. At this rate, they’ll both have stacks of dumb polaroids to bring back home when they’re done with the show.

Yuxin is aware of how little time they have together. So she decides to push away her worries and insecurities about the relationship for now. Live in the moment, if you will.

She does her best to show Keran her true self, and it’s hard in the beginning. She has gotten used to having to hide, forced to act like this closed off person she knew she wasn’t at heart. It had been the best for her career, she was told.

But Keran seems to bring out the best in her. Because slowly she starts to understand she doesn’t have to hold back around her. She makes it easier for Yuxin to initiate secretly holding her hand when they go out to the convenience store, to suprise her with kisses, to open up about her feelings, and to laugh freely with their friends. It feels so nice to let her guard down.

All of it might be too good to be true, but the way Keran makes her feel is too good to ignore.

With everything good, something bad usually follows.

The third elimination is hell. She watches as one of her dear friends, Keran’s best friend, doesn’t make it by one spot. It hurts, not just because she’s sad to see Lin Fan leave, but because she can hear Keran‘s labored breaths and sniffling behind her, and it almost makes her want to cry too.

Once filming is over and everyone goes back to their dorms, there’s a mutual understanding between all the girls to let Lin Fan and Keran have some time alone together.

That night Yuxin lays in bed unable to sleep. Thoughts of the previous night keeping her up. Guilt is eating at her, even though the results of last night had been entirely out of her own hands. She can’t help but wonder if she had fought harder for her, would Lin Fan have stayed?

There’s a few soft knocks to the door, almost startling Yuxin. No one usually came looking for her at this hour. Except...

She gets out of bed immediately. Yuxin, being herself, quickly fixes her hair and makes sure she looks presentable before walking over to open the door.

Her glossy eyes catches Yuxin’s attention immediately. Keran stands there looking like a lost puppy in her big, oversized t-shirt and basketball shorts, giving Yuxin a weak smile. She looks tired, but seems to brighten up the slightest bit at the sight of the other girl.

"Oh baby, come here." Yuxin opens her arms for her. Keran steps into the room and lets herself be engulfed by Yuxin. Her head rests on her shoulder.

"I thought you were staying with Lin Fan tonight?" Her hands rub the taller girl’s back.

"She already fell asleep, and I can’t." Keran mumbles.

Yuxin pulls back slightly to make Keran look at her. She smiles gently, lightly pecking her lips. "Come on." She gestures to her left. She takes her hand and leads her over to her bed. Keran lays down after her, cuddling up to her side and resting her head on Yuxin’s chest. Arm slung over her waist.

"How are you feeling?" Yuxin asks, fingers tangling in Keran’s hair.

"Better now."

Yuxin doesn’t make her talk. But Keran pokes her side, as if to signal that she has something to say. It makes Yuxin squirm a little, earning the cutest little giggles from Keran.

"I’m really proud of you. I knew you’d be number one."

"It’s not permanent." More than anything, it’s a reminder for herself that she needs to keep working hard now that her goal is closer than ever.

"I know that," Keran huffs. "But I also know you’ll debut as center. There’s no one like you."

Comfortable silence falls over them. They’re often like this late at night; in bed, speaking just a few words to each other. The company of the other girl is usually more than enough to feel at ease and happy after a long day. She had gotten used to Keran’s clingy nature early, so she doesn’t mind it when Keran’s legs tangle with hers. Or when she reaches to hold her hand under the covers. It’s incredibly sweet, actually.

She loves it.

She loves being like this with her.

She loves… _her_

"Can you sing for me?"

Yuxin can’t help but smile.

"Of course."

Yuxin hums the melody of a lullaby her parents used to sing for her when she was a child. She sings quietly for Keran. Fingers brushing through her soft hair to soothe her. It works like a charm every time. In just a few minutes she can hear light snoring from the girl laying on her. Her heart swells in her chest when she looks down at Keran. Her long lashes are resting against her cheeks. Lips slightly parted while she snores. She’s gorgeous.

"Sweet dreams, princess."

The night before the finale is quiet, despite everyone juggling spending time with each other and practicing for their last stages together. It’s surreal to think that everything will be over in less than 24 hours. No more staying up all night to perfect their performances, and working themselves beyond their limits. But a part of her wants it to last just a little longer, to have just a little more time with everyone who has become so precious to her.

Yuxin finds herself mindlessly wandering around the building one last time that night, trying to take it all in. Stepping out onto the usual balcony, she is surprised to find just the person she was thinking of.

"Hey, pretty girl."

The way Keran looks at her when she turns around makes her think she was expecting her. As if they had telepathically told each other to meet at this exact location. It’s where they almost had their first kiss, after all.

She sits down next to her on the bench, then something familiar suddenly catches her eye. "That mine?" Yuxin lightly tugs on the sleeve of the hoodie Keran is wearing. Keran blushes, realizing it was, in fact, not her own shirt. "Yeah, I must have grabbed it by accident." She shrugs. Yuxin wouldn’t be surprised if Keran owned half her wardrobe by now.

"You should keep it."

Yuxin holds one of her hands to her lips. Giving light kisses to her knuckles.

"Something to remember me by if we’re ever apart."

Keran looks away then. Looking over the city lights instead. She takes a deep breath before letting out a sigh. It brings them to the conversation they’ve both been dreading to have. She takes in the sight of Yuxin. Her eyes now closed as a light breeze touches her skin, visibly blowing through her hair. A faint smile appears on her lips. Not even the starlit sky, as beautiful as it was tonight, could compare to Yuxin. She’s the brightest star of them all.

Keran holds on to the moment for as long as she can.

"If I don’t make it into the group tomorrow-" Yuxin opens her eyes to look at her, worry taking over her previously peaceful features.

"Hey, no," Yuxin cuts her off, turning her whole body to face her properly. "Don’t say that."

"Yuxin, please, just listen to me." Keran takes the other girl’s hands into her own, giving them a reassuring squeeze. Yuxin doesn’t argue with her.

"If I don’t make it, I want you to know I will always support you. Even if that means quietly from the sidelines."

"I, um," Keran nervously plays with Yuxin's fingers. It looks like she’s planning her words carefully. Eyebrows knit together with her eyes locked on their hands. She sighs.

"I know it won’t be easy after tonight. We both know you’ll debut, and my chances are slim. But I want- no, I need you to know that this was never just a meaningless fling to me. And I’m so thankful for the time I got to spend with you." Her heart almost breaks seeing the tears welling up in Keran’s eyes. She doesn’t understand how the older girl still manages to smile at her.

"I don’t let a lot of people in. I’m cautious. But you have been so kind and patient. It scares me, how you made me fall so hard for you in just a few months. Although it really isn’t surprising at all. You’re perfect, Liu Yuxin. And I’m the luckiest girl in the world to get to know you like this."

Yuxin tries so hard to hold back, biting down on her lip. Tears are threatening to spill from her eyes any second, so she doesn’t dare to blink.

"I want you to know that no one has ever made me feel the way you do. I don’t think I could ever forget you."

A tear finally trickles down Yuxin’s cheek. Followed by a flood.

"I’m not ready to let you go." Yuxin croaks. Keran’s lip trembles. Yuxin didn’t like being given false hope, so she always braced herself for the worst to happen. Even if there was a big chance it wouldn’t. Hope just wasn’t worth the pain and disappointment that followed.

Keran scoots close, patting away Yuxin’s tears with the sleeve of her borrowed sweater, then wraps her arms around her neck. She holds her tightly, never wanting to let go.

They sit like that for a while. Hugging each other while Keran leaves tiny kisses all over Yuxin’s face. Slowly but surely bringing a small smile back to her lips. Keran rests their foreheads together. Hands caressing Yuxin’s cheeks. She feels like home.

"I think I’m in love with you." Keran says in her most quiet voice.

Yuxin can’t help but laugh at the obvious confession.

"I love you too."

Keran leans in for a kiss but Yuxin’s hand is on her chest, stopping her from moving any closer.

"Oh come on, I think I deserve a kiss after all that." Keran pouts.

Yuxin chuckles, shaking her head.

"Kiss me after you debut tomorrow."

Everything feels like a dream the moment Yuxin is announced as number one. She barely even makes it through her speech, the overwhelming feeling of happiness and gratitude getting to her in the end. The walk up to her chair is hard, but she makes it with the encouragement from her new group members. All her hard work had paid off. There’s just one thing missing.

She stops breathing for what feels like minutes when it’s announced that the ninth spot is between Naiwan and Keran. Her hands are clutching her shorts tightly in anticipation. And then it happens. Tears stream down her face when Keran’s name is announced as the final member of THE9.

For once, it feels like the universe is in their favor.

Yuxin eagerly makes her way down the stairs to Keran. She only manages a short hug amongst the other seven girls, but bravely holds her hand for a second. It’s enough for now. They’ll have all the time in the world for each other later.

They made it.

It isn’t until the afterparty they manage to slip away for a few minutes. Keran drags Yuxin into the first empty room she can find. "What’s going on?" Yuxin chuckles. Keran just smiles, shutting her up by pushing her against the wall and kissing her. Yuxin gasps against her lips, but the surprise on her face is quickly exchanged with a grin. Right, she forgot she made her wait a whole day for this. Yuxin giggles, arms circling Keran’s waist.

Neither knows what to expect after tonight, so they stay there, basking if each other’s company, for as long as they can.

"Eighteen months of this." Keran lets out a sigh of content.

Yuxin allows herself to get lost in Keran.

"And many more with you."

**Author's Note:**

> thank u so much for kudos and comments on my previous works, i appreciate it a lot!


End file.
